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Does this look like a happy face to you?

Does this look like a happy face to you?

Well this is my first blahg on WordPress, it’s not one of those nice squishy touchy makes you fuzzy and warm blahgs….it’s ME Unfucking Filtered and if you offend easily, I suggest you just click away and keep moving along as there’s NOTHING for the likes your kind to enjoy reading here. Ok? Good. Let the bitchin’ commence….

I am madd as all out, no I’m fucking madd as HELL at my dysfunctional family and myself for giving a shit or bothering to care about people who don’t care about me.

I’m madd as HELL that these ‘helladays’ are a farce and forced.

I’m madd as HELL that I’ve gotta road trip it up to see my MotherTruckerInLaw who doesn’t like me albeit she is very generous, she’s just not nice towards me and at her age, she doesn’t seem to give a feck or not.

I’m madd as HELL that my MotherTruckerInLaw had 2 carotid artery surgeries this late spring and summer as well as pacemaker inserted the previous year and yet she continues to smoke fecking cigarettes! She’s the MOST STUPID ‘smart’ person I know. GO LICK AN ASHTRAY YOU STUPID VACA because that’s what your breath and house and everything else smells like! Blech!

I’m madd as HELL at that idiot BrotherInLaw who hasn’t had a job in over 20+ years, quit paralegal school & nursing school, quit everything he supposedly started (even his only son who’s now 20 years old and hasn’t laid eyes upon since the kid was 6 months old) he’s a wanker and a raging alcoholic asshole period. Yet I digress, I’m madd as HELL at that douche for NOT taking the time out of his (AHEM) ‘busy’ schedule to road trip it 45 mintues down to his Mother’s home to help her out with things. But NOoooo….he’s so self effacing and has her wrapped around his finger thinking “he’s the most perfect son around” and just too busy to drive down and assist his Mother……

I’m madd as HELL at my hubster for never finishing anything he begins and does half assed jobs on “those projects”. He’s a man who begins many projects yet finishes none UNLESS it’s his motorcycle or motocross related to his specific interests. Jerk.

I’m madd as HELL at MYSELF for continuing to exist in this farce of a marriage – yet I endure like a stupid sucker. This is NOT living folks! It’s existing and it sux. There is no ‘ethereal love’, there is no ‘intimacy’ physically or emotionally. I’m merely sharing his last name, doing his laundry and just a fecking maid/roommate! I’ve been with this dude since 1986 – more than half of my life. And I don’t know why anymore? Because it’s easier to stay than move on? Hmmm maybe? Because I’m a stupid vaca? Hmmm probably.

For quite a while, admittedly – I hate my life and would welcome a new change of location, identity, etc. These are the days when I want to delete every account, phone#, close my business and just say “fuck it” and disappear with one suitcase and never look back. I’m teetering on that precipice and just may take that proverbial lunge out of the next open window next chance I get.

Oh I didn’t mention that my anger is especially heightened since I’m fecking trying to ‘pass’ a G-d damn Kidney Stone that has given me the most horrid back pain since November 28th! So while in this current pain, I’ve had too much time to dwell upon shit that has been pissing me off far too long.

So aren’t y’all gentle readers LUCKY to read about my soap box bitchin’!?! And I haven’t even scratched the surface about MY immediate family that are pissing me off too! That’s for another Blahg – perhaps.

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